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Sudha Murthy as an individual

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Sudha Murthy as an individual

Have I lost my identity as a woman, in Murthy's shadow? No, I might be Mrs Narayana Murthy. I might be Akshata and Rohan's mother. I might be the trustee of Infosys Foundation. But I am still Sudha. Like all women, I play different roles. That doesn't mean we don't have our own identity. Women have that extra quality of adaptability and learn to fit into different shoes. But we are our own selves still. And we have to exact our freedom by making the right choices in our lives, dictated by us and not by the world.


Sudha Murthy as a person

I might have given up my career for my husband’s sake, but that does not make me a doormat… Isn’t freedom about living your life the way you want it? What is right for one person might be wrong for another. It is up to the individual to make a choice that is effective in her life. I believe that when a woman gives up her right to choose for herself, that is when she crosses over from being an individual to a doormat.

Murthy’s dreams encompassed not only himself, but a generation of people. It was about creating something worthy, exemplary and honorable. It was about creation and distribution of wealth. His dreams were grander than my career plans, in all aspects. So, when I had to choose between Murthy’s career and mine, I opted for what I thought was the right choice. We had a home and two little children. Somebody had to take care of it all. Somebody had to stay behind to create a home base that would be fertile for healthy growth, happiness, and more dreams to dream. I became that somebody willingly I can confidently say that if I had had a dream like Infosys, Murthy would have given me his unstinted support. The roles would have been reversed. We are not bound by the archaic rules of marriage. He does not intrude into my time, especially when I am writing my novels. He does not interfere in my work at the Infosys Foundation and I don’t interfere with the running of Infosys.

I teach computer science to MBA and MCA students at Christ College for a few hours every week and I earn around Rs.50,000 a year. I value this financial independence greatly, though there is no need for me to pursue a career. Murthy respects that. I travel the world without him, because he hates travelling. We trust each other implicitly. We have another understanding too. While he earns the money, I spend it mostly through charity. The Infosys Foundation was born in 1997 with the sole objective of uplifting the less-privileged sections of society. In the past three years, we have built hospitals, orphanages, rehabilitation centres, school buildings, science centres and more than 3,500 libraries. Our work is mainly in the rural areas amongst women and children. I am one of the trustees of the Foundation, and our activities span six states. I travel to around 800 villages constantly. Every year, we donate around Rs 5-6 crores. We run Infosys Foundation the way Murthy runs Infosys - in a professional and scientific way. Philanthropy is a profession and an art. It can be used or misused. Every year, we receive more than 10,000 applications for donations. Every day, I receive more than 120 calls. Amongst these, there are those who genuinely need help and there are hoodwinkers too.

Over the years, I have learnt to differentiate the wheat from the chaff, though I still give all the cases a patient hearing. Sometimes, I feel I have lost the ability to trust people. I have become shrewder to avoid being conned. I think that is the price that I have to pay for the position I am in now. The greatest difficulty in having money is to teach your children its value… Bringing up children in a moneyed atmosphere is a difficult task. Even today, I think twice if I have to spend Rs 10 on an auto when I can walk to my house. I cannot expect my children to do the same. They have seen money from the time they were born. But we can lead by example. When they see Murthy wash his own plate after eating and clean the two toilets in the house every day, they realise that no work is demeaning, irrespective of how rich you are. This doesn’t mean we expect our children to live an austere life. My children buy what they want, go where they want, but they have to follow certain rules. They have to show me bills for whatever they buy: My daughter can buy five new outfits, but she has to give away five old ones. My son can go out with his friends for lunch or dinner, but we discourage him from going to a five star hotel. Or we accompany him. My children haven’t given me any heartbreak. My daughter is studying abroad, my son in Bangalore. They don t use their father’s name in vain. They only say that his name is Murthy and that he works for Infosys. They don’t want to be recognized and appreciated because of their father or me, but for themselves.

I don’t feel guilty about having money, for we have worked hard for it. But I don’t feel comfortable flaunting it. It is a conscious decision on our part to live a simple, so-called middle class life. We live in the same two-bedroom, sparsely furnished house we lived in before Infosys became a success. Our only extravagance is buying books and CDs. My house has no lockers for I have no jewels. I wear a pair of stone earrings which I bought in Bombay for Rs.100. I don, t even wear my `mangalsutra` unless I need to attend some family functions or when I am with my mother-in-law. Five years ago, I went to Kashi, where tradition demands that you give something up. I gave up shopping. Since then, I haven’t bought myself a sari or gone shopping. I don’t carry a purse and neither does Murthy, most of the time. I borrow money from my secretary or my driver if I need cash. They know my habit, so they always carry extra cash with them. But I settle the accounts every evening. Murthy and I are very comfortable with our lifestyle and we don’t see the need to change it now that we have money.

Murthy and I are two opposites that complement each other. Murthy is sensitive and romantic in his own way. He always gifts me books addressed ‘From Me to You’. Or ’To the person I most admire’, etc. We both love books. I am an extrovert and he is an introvert. I love watching movies and listening to classical music. Murthy loves listening to English classical music. I go out for movies with my students and secretary every other week. I am still young at heart. I really enjoyed watching ’Kaho Na Pyaar Hai’; I am a Hrithik Roshan fan. It has been more than 20 years since Murthy and I went for a movie. My daughter once gave us a surprise by booking tickets for ’Titanic’. Since I had a prior engagement that day, Murthy went for the movie with his secretary Pandu. I love traveling, whereas Murthy loves spending time at home. Friends come and go with the share prices. Even in my dreams, I did not expect Infosys to grow the way it has. After Infosys went public in 1993, we became what people would call rich, moneyed people. Suddenly, you see and hear about so much money: People talk about you. It was all new to me.

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Guide Comments

Raju said about 1 year ago:

Really excellent note.......

anonymous said about 1 year ago:

I've a lot of respect for this couple now...

Shweta Sharma said about 1 year ago:

Well! I always admired this couple for their simplicity and for there capability of dreaming something as big as infosys and accomplishment of the same. you know what once i read a book by Ayan Rand and it has the same though that one should not feel guilty of his hard eaned money coz he worked really hard for the same and i read the same thing in this artical i liked it. Lots of regards to Mr and Mrs Murthy.

POOJA HEGDE said about 1 year ago:

I HAVE READ ALMOST ALL BOOKS WRITTEN BY MRS SUDHA MURTHY. BE IT WISE & OTHERWISE, MAHASHWETA, GENTLY FALLS THE BAKULA, DOLLAR BAHU OR THE OLD MAN & HIS GOD. BUT I ALSO LOVE TO READ TRAVEL BOOKS & COMPUTER BASED BOOK WRITTEN BY MRS MURTHY. THESE FICTION & NON -FICTION STORIES WRITTEN BY HER IS THE BEST NOVELS I HAVE EVER READ. IT REALLY CHANGES THE WAY U LOOK AT LIFE. PLS LET ME SOME MORE NOVELS OR BOOKS WRITTEN BY HER.

RENUKA IYER said 11 months ago:

MA'M U R REALLY GREAT I M REALLY WANT TO BE A STRONG FOLLOWER OF YOU.I WANT TO BE A WOMAN LIKE YOU TO BE A REASON FOR A MAN'S SUCCESS.I DONT WANT THAT CREDIT BUT WANT THAT RESPECT AND LOVE. IF A MOTHER TEACHES HER CHILD AND AFTER SOME YEARS WHEN THAT CHILD HAS ACHIEVED THE GOAL ,MOTHER IS THE ONE WHO FEELS MORE HAPPY AND RESPECTED BY OTHERS... I WANT TO THINK LIKE YOU AND ACT LIKE ME... I WANT SUDHA MURTHY MA'Ms EMAIL ADDRESS..

Job Dondapati said 10 months ago:

Dear Mather, Iam very son,i want give good education to my two children, I need your blessings,Iwill explin my bacwardness ,If you give your postal address.kindly give the reply. Thank you Mother, faithfuly your's Job Dondapati.

Mehzbeen sadriwala said 10 months ago:

Respected Mam... I am here with less of words...the time i read your postcard written by you to MR JRD TATA...the tears flowed from my eyes...everythnig of you which i read made me completely dazzled about you...the way the person you are are born in a millionare and we are lucky to have one such you...You and your humble words has really englightened my soul...i am so very thankful to you....the only wish now is to see you once....may god bless you n your family... with lots of love and regards...

BHASKAR BANERJEE said 10 months ago:

Ms Sudha Murthy's outlook on life as a daughter,wife and mother is really praiseworthy.

Advika Sanjivan Khedkar said 9 months ago:

Dear Madam, I dont have words in my dictionary to say about you .

Savitha Kiran said 9 months ago:

Hi, first i will thank for u publishing this article. I am also a lecturer in one of the engineering college in bangalore. From my childhood i am a big fan of sudha moorthy. Always i like to read her articles/books. please send me her maid-id. Thanks, Savitha Kiran

Manan said 9 months ago:

Respected Madam, Your writings are awsome.I read The Old Man And his Sayings,How I Taught My Grandmother To Read and Wise And Otherwise .After reading them,it had always become my dream to meet you.Please continue writing such stories.They really inspire people.It inspired me a lot.Something that no school or university could provide.I would like to thank you for inculcating in me such good values.All your stories used to come part by part in Hulchul,a gujarati Magazine.My mother always used to call out your stories loudly and it really used to touch me through the bottom of my heart.She always used to tell at the end that COme what may,never forget to repay what the society has given you.Your stories teach people how to lead a good life.Please Continue writing such stories.You rock.I would like to meet you if you ever come to Kolkata.Any story,any incident,anything related to Sudha maam will be appreciated With Best Regards Manan Student

Manan Vora said 9 months ago:

Respected Madam, I have read the three short stories written and concluded that they are simply awsome.You have inspired me a lot.The simplicity in each story tells about your "Down to Earth" personality.I have created your fan club in Facebook where we have started discussion about your books.I remember that my Mother always used to read aloud from Hulchul,a gujarati magazine.There was always a moral which she used to tell me at the end.It fascinated me a lot and enculcated some values which made me realise the right way to live life.I had always wanted to meet you after I had read your stories.You are my inspiration.Keep rocking.Please meet me if you ever visit Kolkata. Regards Manan

Manan said 9 months ago:

Oops...Looks like I have written it twice.Anyways,it does'nt matter since this much of writing is also less to describe her.Its a tribute to her greatness...

Priyanka said 9 months ago:

Respected S. Murthy Mam I feel immense pleasure in writing this mail.I have just finished reading one of your commendable story book "How I taught my grandmother to read".And now when I read this article I was so deeply touched by your simplicity & poise. Regards from core of my heart.

shweta m said 9 months ago:

only some people are like u mam. i respect ur thinkings. sense and simplicity is very important in todays life also u thought me this.

Seema S said 8 months ago:

Its really limitations of language to tell about this couple!! I ready Sudha Murthy's Mahashwethe, wow, what a novel it is!!! Hats off to these two!

Sweta Chowdhury said 8 months ago:

Dear Mam I have been admiring your personality as you have always taken care of maintaining your identity. Just recieving the inspiration mama, I bring upon a humble request. My name is Sweta Chowdhury. I am 26 years in age. I am a counselling psychologist, trainer, healer and an author. I have attempted to write a book on relationship management called HAPPY HOURS, relationships on a high. The foreword has been given by Dr Kiran Bedi and the book has been published by MACMILLAN PUBLISHING HOUSE. Mam I really believe that my humble attempt of writing this book is just an attempt to bring back and revive those family values that we have left behind. Mam, I request you to kindly give me a few words as an encouragement qnd feedback that can be published at the back cover page of the book. Kindly shoe interest so that I can send you the synopsis of the book and once you are convinced then I can recieve your blessings and love. Regards and love Sweta Chowdhury

afsa.pankhaniya said 7 months ago:

respected madam, i m pankhaniya.afsha a.resantly i have passed 12 th science (b-groupe)with 83%.and i from gujarat.As per merit i got addmission in b.d.s in self finaance college.it s fees is 2,24,000/- per year and we cant aford it so plz give me some help or scholarship.plz consider on my application. thank you afsha

Zamsheer said 7 months ago:

Madam, You and Murthy are the best couple I ever saw in my life!! I never missed any opportunity reading your books. Great!!

keerthana said 7 months ago:

hello ma'm.i feel this as a previlage to write a comment.i loved your "gently falls th bakhula".it is really one of the best books i have ever read.its touching,realistic and ofcourse a tragic story.i loved the way you dealt srikanth's character in the end.i mean it seemed realistic for,he was himself through out the story and also in the end.it is unlike other stories where,one emotional dialogue makes all the difference.but i always wished that he cares for shrimathi because i am personally atached with the character.may be this comment is supposed be about the article.but i think this is a platform to express my views.thankyou ma'm.i am one of your fans or rather say,admirers.you definitely set an example to many people where most of them are women(according to me).with regards.

Havovi A Ichhaporia said 6 months ago:

Dear Mrs Murthy, I have read only one book of yours "How i taught my grand mother to read". I enjoyed it thouroughly and have read it myself many times and have read it for my children too. Please do continue writing more books for children. Good luck to you

AMOL said 6 months ago:

saw your interview very recently,before that i was not aware of you,but now i keep searching about you as that interview was very touching,i impress by your thoughts as it was very simple but still it is very difficult to exeecut. still you manage to exeecute your thought in your real life.it's really amazing.& thanks for being philenthropist sudha murthy.

savita patankar said 5 months ago:

respected madam, mai savita patankar,from sangli maharashtra se hu, mujhe ek ladaka hai, abh vo 12th std me poona me Fergusson college me science me sturdy kar raha hai., mere bete ko 10th me 89.38% marks mile hai, mujhe mere bete ke after 12th ke education ke liye lona ki jarurat hai, kya aap mujhe aapke educational foundation trust se help kar sakati hai mam, please??? mera mail id hai savita_m@hotmail.com hai, please mail me mam, reply me mam, please, maine bahot koshish ki lekin mujhe educational loan nahi mila, please mam, reply me, savita

reshma said 5 months ago:

madam,i cant say anything. maa, i love you. i want to meet you once in my life. madam i know u can help to the poor. madam,if you can please help me. really i am requesting you. because i am a poor lady from small village.

skumar said 5 months ago:

Dear Sudha madam, Can you start a Good Medical college and Hospitals across Karnataka , at least in Taluka levels ..you can gift mothers to thousands of children !! it will be long lasting service to humanity

PallaviB.jagalur said 5 months ago:

Mam, Really i learnt lot of from your books.I like your simplicity.I never missed to read your books...........In our home all are fans about your books.I inspirerd lot from your lifestyle and your books

raksha pankhaniya said 3 months ago:

mam, i always want to teach my daughter how to live life king size. when i read your books i feel 'ya, in this way'. my daughter khushi didn't like to read but when i gave her your articels she started to read and now she also FAN of you like me. MAM YOU HAVE TEACH HER HOW TO LIVE LIFE. I M VERY GREATFUL TO YOU. I M ALWAYS EAGER TO MEET YOU. CAN I?

ramya said 2 months ago:

could i pls get sudha mams address.........i like her as aperson...her writings are fantastic i need her email address

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